Nerd Camp Pre Day 4

Nerd Camp Pre-day 3

Nerd Camp pre-day 2

Nerd Camp pre-day 1

Israeli policy

1 God told Abram: "Leave your country, your family, and your father's home for a land that I will show you.

2-3 I'll make you a great nation
and bless you.
I'll make you famous;
you'll be a blessing.
I'll bless those who bless you;
those who curse you I'll curse.
All the families of the Earth
will be blessed through you."

Genesis 12

There's no easy way to explain the current United States policy toward israel outside of this scripture. So many people wonder why the US has taken sides with Israel when they've allegedly "committed such heinous acts" and whenever they respond to a threat it's so incredibly disproportionate to the perceived threat. The answer is simply stated: Don't fuck with the jews.

So much of our policy is predicated on this promise to Abraham that it might as well be enshrined in law in the US. We as a nation are convinced that no matter the prevailing winds of public opinion we will not take sides against "God's people" Lest we invoke the flip side of that promise... "the curse."

I went to private schools all my life, most of whom were Fundamentalist Evangelical in their leanings. I was taught from a very early age to have respect for "God's People." I was taught that a nation rises and falls with its deference to that passage in Genesis. And it seems, I was not alone.

Closet cub is really closeted

I posted something on facebook about the sugar free reases peanut butter cups having a warning on them about a possible 'laxative effect' when eaten in excess. I hot a response from a friend about how she fed them to a kids party and all the kids had 'the browns' for a week. Closet cub posted something to the effect that that would be the only way 'the browns' could ever win the superbowl. I posted a response that it was 'cute when he talked butch.' well apparently that was over the line because he sent me this email on how my flirting was making him uncomfortable and he wasn't comfortable with me hugging him in front of the restaurant the day before.

Oy with closet cases and their drama.

Thing is, I know where it comes from. I was there 10 years ago. In the words of Harvey Milk, "Come out come out wherever you are."

Closet Cub

It was an ok party. I knew about half the people there. It was in one of those 50's ranch houses that have been added on until the house just rambles like a scrabble board and seems to go on for days. I grabbed a glass of wine and wandered out into the pool area and a group of lesbians were over in the corner, smoking and talking facing the bay with the lights sparkling and reflecting on the bay in the damp Florida night. At the other end of the pool, a guy I knew was talking to a guy I didn't. I crossed and began talking to the guy I knew. Smalltalk, nothing in particular. And then he wandered up. Cubbie. Cubbie and I talked about how he was campaign manager for the guy I ddn't know sitting there and I pledged my support. Cubbie asked me if I was on facebook and I pulled out my iPhone and friended his candidate. Cubbie spent the next hour talking about nothing in particular and I really wasn't listening because I was imagining him naked and what I would do to him when he was. After the party, I went home and tried to find him on facebook, but was unsuccessful.

The next morning I got a friend request from him. But in his profile it didn't say he was gay. Had I misread the situation? I looked for clues in the list of favorite movies... Mama Mia AND wedding crashers... Damn. Mixed signals. Finally I just im'd him... 'Are you gay?' because I thought I sensed that. He explained that he wasn't out to all his facebook friends so he didn't have that information on his profile.

I asked him if he eaten. He said no, so we met at a local diner for brunch. He told me he was business partners with his two brothers and one is a conservative religious guy and he couldn't alienate that brother right now because he was depending on that money to make it through grad school.

He's adorable and smart. I have to get to know him better. He's my little Closet Cub.

Bush Administration Insider knocked off

A story is making the rounds about a bush administration insider who was hosting the data for the 2000 and 2004 election while at the same time maintaining close ties to republican insiders and data from the elections that was hosted on a shared sever with party sites. You think to yourself... they wouldn't steal the election, would they? They wouldn't actually tamper with data from an election source...???

Well, put that together with what we know about diebold voting machine's security issues. Mix in what I know about administering a shared server and, at the least, you have a situation where the data on that server cannot be trusted to be accurate.

Social Networking

So i'm doing a lot with twitter/facebook/linkedIn and working with their PHP tools to make connections between websites. It's going to be interesting to see the type of applications that develop over the next year or so based on previously closed social networks opening themselves to developers and providing connections between the various services. There are many that are simultaneously competitive and complimentary. For example, LinkedIn and Facebook. LinkedIn is primarily business focused where Facebook is primarily personal. It makes sense for them to open themselves to connections linking your business life with your personal life. Twitter's strength is immediacy. Linking the three profiles on the three different services provides a unique synergy that neither of the three of them could achieve alone.

America is out of good ideas

In the first part of Tony Kushner's masterpiece "Angels in America", subtitled "Millennium Approaches", the world is running down, everything is becoming empty and man as a creation is out of creative ideas. I feel that acutely now. With so many corporate failures and so many companies on the verge of bankruptcy asking for governmental handouts, it seems the baby boomers leading American companies have led us to our doom. We are an empty cistern of ideals. With no imagination we are trustifarians living on a credit card tied to the hard work and accomplishments of our forefathers.

I believe in rain. I believe in renewal. There's always a second act.... a Part II. Perestroika ... the new openness... is coming. We shall be renewed. Good ideas will come and we again will be led by a progressive leader.

I have to believe. Please don't let us down, President Obama.

The Bubble Project

The heart of the McCain/Palin Constituency

Polling: National Trend

McCain and the Keating Scandal

Pollster.com

DON'T VOTE

D

John Stewart on the Presidential Address

Wanda Sykes on Sarah Palin and Weed

Musical Intervention

a prayer for New Orleans

to the God who I believe created me
then you for your grace
thank you for peace
thank you for rain
but I pray for New Orleans
I pray that lessons were learned
that this time people will leave
that the leaders will be wiser
that the indigent will be cared for
that lessons will be learned
that people will leave
that squall lines will move quickly
and that people won't die

amen.

Sent from my iPhone

Awareness Test

what "wrong message"?

And the money quote.... "The law is supposed to discriminate sometimes."

angry

I'm angry at you billy rothstein. The way you left us was inexcusable and I will never forgive you.

Waffle House Wedding

Take alook at This story about the great american waffle house wedding.

wow, does AT&T suck

Ok, so I went to get my iphone 3g today and was told that not only would I loose my discount on my WLAN card but I couldn't be upgraded in an Apple store because my account was a "Business" account. Ok, Setting aside the complete irritation of walking into a store and not being able to walk out with what I cam in to buy, I now have to deal with the slimy AT&T commission sales team who couldn't be bothered to stop the car if they were driving over me if it meant they weren't getting any money out of the deal. So Edward gets home and we decide to change our account away from a business account to a "personal" account.

I call AT&T "Customer service" and after being cut off 2 different times I finally reached an operator that would "fill out a ticket" to have my account converted which would take up to 72 hours to complete by a department to which, I couldn't not have the number to dial them directly. WFT?????? How is this in any way shape or form "Customer Service"?

Sweet jesus this is so freekin annoying.

UPDATED... ok, so now my account has been converted from business to standard account but the Apple Store at International Plaza is sold out of iPhones. The universe conspires against me.

new toys

with any luck at all, this time tomorrow, I'll have a new iPhone 3g. I just love getting new toys. :-) I read an article that being so distracted by things instead of people is a sort of high-funtioning autism. I may somewhat agree. All weekend long I was actually somewhT distrCted by the fact that I didn't have one.

20 minutes to whopner.

how to make bread

By the sunburn's red glare

Another night at georgie's, another horrible shakira remix, another
special on really cheap booze. Tomorrow and tommorow beats this steady
existence.

Not much going in other than down time after pride. I have a party for
The Fourth tomorrow at my managers house... It should be as fun as a
Hetro party can be.

I hope I can just rest this weekend. Pride was greuling and I haven't
decided if I'm doing their website next year. I should know more next
week.

I think I did a fantastic job on their marketing and it was a light
into my soul to be that creative again.

Georgies is packed. I'm going to go dance.

Sent from my iPhone

This looks hysterical

7:15 AM on pride day

Thirty-eight years ago today, the Stonewall Riots began. I can't imagine that world today. Regular police raids on gay clubs and the act of wearing women's clothes could get you jail time.... Just as today's kids can't imagine black and white water fountains we can't imagine what that world was like.

But we don't go to pride because of how far we've come, but how far we've yet to go. My new friend Janice Langbehn's story is tragic because of it's ubiquity.

Be proud. Happy Pride.

Yours truly

why i'm voting for Barack Obama

The foundation of all I believe in, politically speaking, is smaller government and lower taxes and having government focus on the infrastructure needs of its citizens and allow the citizens themselves create the world in which they want to live.

For as much as Senator Obama is not a "small government" senator, neither is McCain. Do you for one second think that electing McCain will lead to any serious reform in the Pentegon's corrupt purchasing practices? Do you think that McCain will streamline government using technology when the man can't check his own email and has trouble using the word "technology" without the word "new-fangled" in front?

Do you think for a minute that McCain will offer early retirement to thousands of government workers who are nearing the age and then delete their positions to decrease the load of federal employees on the tax base when he, himself should be retired to a condo at Sun City Pheonix. Ladies and gentlemen, the republican party is in need of an enema. Clean out the shit ....and feed it some ruffage. It's got the smell of old people. They're still focused, generationally on the arguments of the last century. Abortion, Evolution, Racism, Internet Porn... let them go down in flames declaring that the internet should be policed by the government "to protect our children".

I'm voting for the young guy... the guy who actually knows what text messaging is and is and posts almost every speech on You-Tube for the world to hear. He may not be philosophically what i'm looking for, but I think he'll make a good president. I'm putting my full support behind Barack Obama.

I'm tired of Baby Boomers and their silly fear of technology. I'm tired of the arguments of 50 years ago shaping the political debate. I'm tired of politicians who believe that they are the only ones who can help america... yes, i'm talking about you Hillary. I'm tired of the politics of racism. While I know most of those are with us for some time to come, electing Senator Obama will go a long way to put to death the era of baby boomer politics and... for better or worse... usher in whatever is next.

NYC 2057

Depressed

A few weeks back a coworker confessed to me that she though her son was gay. She also though her son was being harassed by other students at his school... Burns Middle School in Brandon.... She told me it had gone beyond names into slashing his bike tires and other acts of vandalism. She told me she felt helpless because the school administrators told her they could do nothing.

At this point, I dropped an email to PFLAG in brandon, who were sympathetic but told me they believed the principal was "fair" whatever that means.

I got an IM today at work that she was leaving because her son had been "in a fight" and had a black eye. There is a pattern of violence at this school that seems to be escalating with each passing year. There's at least one article at the St. Pete times about a girl at burns being bullied by other female students. In this case, her son was being bullied by male students.

Who's fault is it when students commit homophobic violence. In the case of that highly publicized video from polk county where one student is locked in a house and beaten while other students look on, the parents confess that "there was nothing they could do."

I feel helpless. How much do I stick my nose in when it's clearly none of my concern, except... when someone is beaten because they are gay... it really is my concern. But what to do...??? Especially realizing that there are only a very few days left in school.

I feel helpless, angry and very much saddened. And it's not even about blame... because it's my fault to. It's my fault I allow this in the city where I live.

'Deeply insulting to transexuals'

I'm doing some marketing work for St. Pete Pride in addition to doing their website. I did a series of ads for them, mostly optimistic and sunny with this one being the exception. We got feedback this week from several "transexual activists" who think the ad is "deeply insulting to transexuals". Honestly, I don't get it. This ad features a drag queen.... nothing more. I don't think it demeans anyone's sexuality... in fact quite the opposite. I think it's a strong statement on the transient nature of gender and society's gender roles. Anywho... call me what you want, just spell my name correctly.

Love and Peace to all

wv... toothless and racist

The moment

There are moments in time where the universe spins on its axis and we are different than we were. We've known change is necessary. We've felt the boiling crucible yearning for a reaction. We want to move forward in time.... and then the screw loosens and we start to feel the forward momentum. We start to feel our country, our world, our universe, our society... lurch forward.

That moment is now. And thank you God for our ability to change.

Tony Nomination update

Megan Mullally was ROBBED! The end.

OUCH!

friday i'm in love

Why does everything seem so much better...? the rash you've been scratching all week is almost gone... the cup of tea taste better and you got a full nights sleep thursday... Is it the anticipation of 2 days off or is it some sort of cosmic completion coming into balance? Either way, I feel good today. Very zen and balanced. I look around and see beauty. I'm going to try to have lunch somewhere outside and enjoy a fantastic day.

Kettle to pot: you're black!

So news reports are full of Clinton calling Obama "elitist" for his comments about people in small towns "clinging to God and Guns" because they're afraid... which outraged people in small towns in Pennsylvania so much they put down their guns and went to church to decide what to do.

The AP reported that Clinton spent the day eating pizza and drinking beer to prove how non-elitist she is... They also reported that She did shots of Crown Royal. Pander much?

What the AP didn't report is after about 10 shots, she then lifted her white wifebeater tank and showed her tits to everyone in the bar and then left on a harley with a man-ish woman named "chris" who resembled John Goodman. She's so butch. She could totally kick my ass.

Life beyond A-Z

A blog that I semi-regularly read has a story about a European transplant's experience in Washington DC. There's a running theme taken from a children's book the world is simply too big to be crammed into only 26 letters and we must experience life beyond A-Z.

I find myself feeling very similar emotions of late without adequate words to describe it. My normal optimism fails me and I must reach for a reason to believe that the world will be a better place. Part of it is The War Without End. Part of it is simply the provincial attitudes that pervade the culture in which I live. Take this story about commissioners warning against the Day Of Silence for GLBTQ students or this One about a "new drug" Salvia that Purple Haze is selling ( on 34th Street South if you've never been there, just north of the exit for the old Suncoast Resort ). There's some do-gooder state legislator on the west coast... here's the quote:

"We need to do everything we can to protect our children in a world where there are massive temptations," said Sen. Evelyn Lynn, R-Ormond Beach.

yes, the same ol tripe they always use. We must "Protect the children from the bad "(insert miscellaneous evil here). Will there ever be a time that American will see this for what it is... nothing more than a govermental power grab. Yet another of your civil liberties taken by an a behemoth nanny state.

As a country we need to see life beyond A-Z. We need to break our insistence that our government take care of us, feed us, medicate us, and then pay for our mortgage when we make unsound financial decisions. I weep for our country. I weep for the future. Or the pessimism could just be a rainy sunday morning when i'm fresh out of tea for breakfast. It's difficult to tell.

why it's good to keep the battle in the democratic party going

or, alternatively titled: "There's no such thing as bad press."

Throughout the next few months as Hillary and Barak duke it out for the Democratic nomination, there are many who say the scuffle is "bad for the party" and "one of them needs to give in". I couldn't disagree more.

I think what's bad for the party is monolithic politics with no opportunity for one citizen to make any sort of a difference. The idea that any one vote can make all the difference in the world has reinvigorated the democratic party in ways no candidate ever could. And despite polls that say voters on either side of the current battle "will hold their nose" and vote for McCain if their candidate looses is complete rubbish. Hillary voters are never going to vote to elect Bush II and Obama voters are not going to vote for a pro war candidate.

Allowing this battle to continue to it's conclusion at the convention is going to lead to one thing and one thing alone. More camera time for both candidates. The question is framed as not whether to vote Democrat or Republican but which democrat to vote for. And That's a question thats a popularity no democrat has enjoyed in my lifetime.

Barak and Hillary... Keep arguing. Keep having good weeks and bad weeks. Maintain your position on the issues and by all means FIGHT. It will not leave you bloodied for the general election, on the contrary, it will make you (Cue the Kanye.....) stronger.

we remember the good and forget the bad

Watching the tv mini-series John Adams i'm astounded by our barbarism. Our infant America was a violent place of insolent British ex-pats centered in Boston. And were treated with equal violence and arrogance by the British Empire. Its a wonder either country survived.

"Most men are evil and weak and viscous and are in great need of restraint." -John Adams

I love this series. I hope it wins more Emmys than Paul Giamatti can carry.

best line from SNL in 10 years

"What qualifies Hillary Clinton to be president? Is it that she was married to the president? if that's the case Robin Givins would be heavyweight champion of the world."
-Tracy Morgan

Who's responsibility is security?

There's a report out today that Paypal has discouraged use of the Safari web browser because "it has no anti-phishing" plugin/feature/attachment. My response to that is... Who's responsibility is security? The expectation that a car manufacturer would build a car that would tell you when you're going to be car-jacked seems a bit far-fetched.

When those phishing bank emails came out a few years back, my bank's response was to institute a two-tier login system that, quite frankly, was a pain in the ass until you got used to it. Yes, I locked myself out of my account a few times, but now I know that bank logins are secure. Is paypal at all responsible for not instituting what most banks now feel is a "standard" feature to their website? Seems like if they really cared about security they would.

What about my responsibility? If you see a paypal logo and login on the page and URL is just an IP address or some crazy ukrainian URL, is there no recognition that at least 50% of the responsibility of thinking "hey maybe I don't want to give ukrainians my paypal login information" ....maybe just SOME of that responsibility rests with me?

I understand too well how unreasonable the uneducated computer using hoards (READ 'windows users') can be. I deal with it on a regular basis. Issues like "most users won't see that button" and "most users don't know what that is" is regularly part of the feedback I get on the websites I build. 'It doesn't look right in IE 5' ....and 'My aunt who uses AOL 4 can't get the HTML in that email. What do we do about AOL 4 users, mr smarty-pants web developer?'....Yea, I been there paypal. I feel ya.

But either way, I have a message for paypal's PR dept.....My safari is perfectly safe and I love it just fine, thank you. If you're stupid enough to give your login information away, that's just darwinism in action. You are the slow antelope of the herd and as such, have been selected by nature for extinction. Please turn in your computer at the Best Buy where you purchased it with a DVD of the latest Kate Hudson/Matthew McConaughey movie.

Now paypal's usage fees, that's a crime for which there is no plugin!

Yes, we can

Boys Beware!

Arresting images from the Assasination of Benezi Bhutto

from the new york times.

Doctor Who - Voyage of the Damned

Beware the flying killer angels and thank god for Cyborg Dwarves. If you haven't caught the Doctor Who Christmas Special 2007, you REALLY need to. It's filled with fantastical story telling that only Russel Davies can provide. If you're not in the UK, take a look on new torrents and see if you can't download it. The version I got had almost 100 seeds. Here's a link.

Oh, and Kylie Minogue is SIMPLY BRILLIANT. Russell YOU MUST BRING HER BACK!!!!

Use Of 'N-Word' May End Porn Star's Career

Use Of 'N-Word' May End Porn Star's Career

The suckers

There are two types of people in the world: those that add to the creativity and life in the universe; and those that suck the creativity and life out of the universe. The sukers destroy your creative ideas. They tell you what you've done is and can never be good enough. And never add to the creative content of the worlds knowledge.

I work with so many suckers. I see them walking the halls despondant for some fulfillment that will never come. It breaks my heart. And then makes me angry when they try to pull me down into their holes.

if you were gay.....

Boycott

I need a new belt to take on vacation. The Big & Tall store that has the clothes that I like has 2 locations... Largo and Brandon... two areas of the city that are known for anti-gay politics. Brandon as the home of Rhonda Storms, who specifically courted the "Conservative Christian" vote in her bid for state senate by removing all recognition of Gay Pride from any agency funded by the county... and Largo, who recently fired a 16 year city administrator after discovering that he was a transitioning M2F transsexual.

So what do you do? Do you support the business in Largo or Brandon? Are business, because they did nothing, complicit in the firing of Susan Stanton?

During the last century, pastors of predominantly white churches stood by and did nothing as black church were blown up for making a stand on civil rights. Are they complicit in the bigotry? You bet your King James Version they were.

Do you go to Cracker Barrel and have the country breakfast with chicken because the deep friend chicken with gravy and biskits are simply HEEEEEEAAAAAAAAVEN even though their company policies call for firing of GLBTQ employees, which don't get me wrong... is very, very bad. But I think I need more fried chicken before I can decide how bad it really is.... Which circles back to my need for another belt.

Damn. now i'm hungry.

A few years back the Southern Baptist Convention began a boycott of Disney World because of their sponsorship of "Gay Days". Thing was, Disney's never "supported" gay days. I have a bunch of friends that attend non-fundy (that's short for fundamentalist in Baptist-speak) Baptist churches and I tried to explain to them Gay Days is a bunch of GLBTQ patrons all buying tickets on the same day and attending the park. Disney doesn't do anything for them that they wouldn't do for any other group that does the same.... There's a Twins day where identical twins all buy tickets. They have family reunions, Bahmitzvas and destination weddings. Some of which are support by Disney staff, but many of which are people simply choosing to attend the park on the same day. The host hotel for Gay Days, to the best of my knowledge has never been "On Property" at Disney and Gay Days has never really been a "disney sponsored" event. But the fundies never got this.

During their boycott Disney stock and profits actually went UP. Long story short, Boycotts don't work and they're usually aimed at the wrong entity.

So if I go to get a belt at my favorite big-and-tall store in Largo, am I indirectly sending a message that there is no price to pay for firing susan stanton?

So in the oh-so-true words of Cheryl Crow, "it's hard to make a stand."

2/365 - all my iPhones

2/365 - all my iPhones, originally uploaded by stovak.

second verse

same song second verse. I called apple today about the replacement iPhone. I told them the loaner they sent me works grea, however the replcement they sent had a defective home button. When the home button is pressed it sometimes sticks underneath the iPhone chasis. They apologized and said they would send me yet another loaner and i'd have to send back the first loaner ad send the replacement phone in and they'd repair or rplace the replacement. ...sigh... The joys of first generation products.

Sticky Keys

So Apple replaced the iPhone but the new iPhone has a sticky home key. I'm really pissed.

BEARFORCE1

the day the iPhone died

The iPhone broke. Yea, I know its a $500 phone. Its not supposed to break. But it did. There's a dead spot on the touch screen. And it's in the area where most of the dialogs appear. ok, in the phone's defense, it was a shitty day. Electronics for some reason are especially subject to the whims of the universal flux... when you're having a bad day, your electronics know and have a tendency to malfunction more often.

I talked to a friend on the way to work, threw the phone in my pocket and somehow my voicemail password either changed or got screwed up in the phone's memory because it asked me for my voicemail password and the "ok" and "cancel" buttons were right in the dead spot... so I could enter the password, but couldn't hit "ok" or "cancel." Very frustrating. So I called apple and their sending me a loaner and going to repair my phone, but it's just irritating I have to go through this with a $500 cell phone.

Oh, well.... Boddingtons Ale makes life livable and I took the Sim card out and put it back in my old samsung which gladly accepted the opportunity to be useful again.

Hillary Clinton: America's fag hag

so after watching the HRC's candidate forum tonight on logo I have to say, there's a reason Hillary and barak obama are the frontrunners. Its because they are clearly the most electable of all of the democratic candidates. I think either one if them would do well to be president. I just hope the democratic leadership doesn't bump them out or they don't self-destruct like Howard Dean.

So I guess i'm over my mini-meltdown after the death of my dog. Or maybe it wasn't that mini... But whatever. My life is back to its normal work-a-holic baseline and my days again are filled with endless projects at work I can never hope to finish and the prospect of a vacation coming up labor day weekend.

The politics at work are a constant distraction. It's such a shame that people feel like they have to connive and scheme to get what they want. There really isn't any more to say about that.

After hearing a boatload of horror stories about portland, OR i'm kind of wary of taking a trip down there while we're in Seattle. Oh, well... Its only a few days. Looking forward to getting out of town.

I don't really blog specifically about apple that often bexause there are so many other blogs who do a much better job than i at covering apple news, but i gotta tell ya it feels like chistnas morning every monday i go to bed and kniw there's an apple event the next morning. I can't wait to see what they introduce.

Carson

I had to put my dog down. It was, without a doubt the most difficult thing I've ever done.

He'd been deteorating for a while. The vet didn't give me a definative diagnosis. She semed to hide behind "we need to do more tests." Part of me will always resent her for not just giving me the bad news that It was cancer. Edward and I got home from a day trip to Orlando on satirday and he was much much worse. I took him to the emergency room.

The vet was so kind. He didn't sugar coat it he just gave it to me straight.

There were choices to be made. Do I want to be in the room? What do i want to do with his remains? All the time I've had him I've projected my own fear of dying alone into him and there was no way I could not be there when he went. They put a cathedor in his leg. The he came in with several injections. I held him and told him how wonderful he was and how much he meant to me... Carson, not the vet... I was bawling as was Edward. The vet gave un the shots one by one and his heart stopped. The vet listened with the stethescope and told me he was gone.

Today, I went back to work and it was so very odd coming home to a house without him. Words can' describe how much I will miss him.

Goodbye

They say the things that make you the most angry are the things you see in other people that you hate about yourself. I get angry when people don't have the balls to give you bad news. I had to put my dog, carson down. Thing is, I knew it was cancer. My **EX** vet who I don't recommend anyone use for anything other than yearly shots, she did all kinds of tests 6 months ago and I think she knew then it was cancer but was like... we need to do this test and we need to do that test and $500 later.... still no diagnosis.

I went to the 24 hour clinic on 22nd north. The vet took one look at Carson and said, I could do a bunch of tests to confirm it, but that dog has cancer and it's only going to get worse. You need to euthanize him before it gets any worse.

I hate it when I can't give people bad news.

I never want to do that to anyone.

Goodbye carson. I love you. God, please care for carson, he's my baby doggy and I love him.

Belated birthday

In Orlando today to wish my mom a belated birthday. I bought lunch at
a restaurant in epcot called The Coral Reef. Great food , but the re-
themed the restaurant around the movie Finding Nemo and it just looks
"whored out."

Carson, my do continues to worsen. Poor puppy. I'm going to try a new
vet first of the week.

_____________________
Sent from my iPhone

Carson

about 13 years ago my friends rick and Myra and I went to joleton, which is a small rural suburb of Nashville to look at a litter of beagle puppies. The runt of the litter was he only one that wasn't spoke for and I claimed him. He's lying beside me in the same bed I had when I cradle him through his first night away from his mom. He's ill and most likely won't make it through this year. He has a couple different infections and most likely cancer. He has been an almost constant companion for the last 13 years of my life and i can't cry for him.

I don't know why.

I love him more than life itself. I can't understand this lack of emotion. It's not fear. And its not loss, because he's still here. He's the same old Carson I've always known, albeit a little worse for wear.

I can't feel for him. It's like I'm numb.

I am woman hear me roar

so my friend jo just got back from the middle east. She's been working as an advertising exec for a small new media company in Abu Dabbi which is one of the United Arab Emerates. You always hear about how sexist the middle east is, but to hear stories of just blatent sexual harrassment andhow it propegated by every facet of both culture and government really boggles the mind. When I think about the issues that I'm having with my female coworkers and how catty and just absolutely evil they can be to each other, I sometimes wonder if an all-male workplace would actually be a good thing.

go west

so the roomate has a new boyfriend. He lives in Seattle. Really nice guy. For his birthday I promised the roomate a trip west. I've always wanted to see San Franciso and maybe the northwest. With the advent of the new boyfriend we now have a base of operations in Seattle. So Seattle Tom as I now call him to differentiate between him and avery other Tom in my life, Seattle Tom, goes every year to this gay summer camp outside Portland Oregon.
Now I'm a geek. A big one. And a queen. "roughing it" to me is lack of wi-fi. So I'm kinda reticent about the whole "camp" thing. Seattle Tom has encouraged me to go and, of course the roomate is going. So I'm thinking I might give it a try. Apparetly they have "dormatory-type" cabins which are heated by not air conditioned. ...sigh... Who knows I might have fun.

i'm scum

I forgot my mom's birthday. I feel horrible. On top of that I had a really bad day at work today. Not that that in any way compares with your own son forgetting your birthday. She's always there for me and I just completely blow her off like that. Good god, I'm horrible. So what do you get your mom after you've forgotton her birthday 2 years in a row? A new son. That's what you get her.
hangin around
nothin to do but frown
rainy days and Mondays always get me down.

Currently

• Current phone: apple iphone
• Currently watching:
  
  • TV:the 4400, Jekyll, Wire in the Blood season 5, Rick & Steve: the happiest gay couple on earth
  • Movies: Transformers, harry potter and the order of the pheonix
• Currently planning: trip to seattle
• Currently reading: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (I should get it from amazon this week)
• Currently musical obsesion: Robin Thicke
• Currently eating: pizz-ookie at BJ's on park blvd.
• Currently drinking: blue moon
• Currently learning: ruby on rails
• Currently launching: Textmate, Coda
• Currently booting: macbook black
• Currently bagging: Manhattan Portege Messenger Bag medium from ebags
• Currently loving: Jeffrey Donovan from Burn Notice (pictured at right)
• Currently disgusted by: anything Hilton, Paris or perez.

Anno iphonus - in the year of our iPhone

So I'm one week into my anno iphonus, my year of using an iPhone

I have to say that I love it every bit as much as I thought I would.
I'm blogging from the movie theatre waiting for harry potter to start.
As promised, I'm getting used to the keyboard. But I do wish mail and
SMS worked in landscape mode. More to come .

_____________________
Sent from my iPhone

The summer of iPhone

So I've been playing with my iPhone for a few days now and I have to
say that I'm impressed with the the amount of thought and care that
has gone into both the software and the hardware. What it does, it
does very well. I have to believe that what it cannot do well it does
not attempt. I have very high expectations for this platform over the
next few years and have every reason to believe they will be met.

Sent from my iPhone

Dramatic Prarie Dog

I have no idea why, but this clip amuses me to no end.

do gays have an obligation to be 'out'?

I saw this on Logo and it got me thinking.... do gays have an obligation to be out?

State Secrets

So I get a call at my office. I pick up and it's one of our company's support personnel.

"Good Morning Kevin, what's up?"

"Mornin Tom. Listen, i'm going to need you to stop telling people about Firefox."

"um, excuse me?"

"Yea, we've had several calls about getting Firefox installed on people's machines and we can't just install it for everyone. I need you to stop telling people it's better."

Of all the stupid phone calls and requests I've received this has to be a new low in stupidity.

First of all... I've never told anyone "use firefox". I've demo'd sites and used firefox. People have asked what i use and I told them. Anyone i've told specifically to look at a page in fireox, i've installed it on their machine personally and told them not to call support about any questions they might have.

As an support professional, you should WANT to install firefox because there's a much better chance that browsing *WON'T* infect the computers for which you are responsible.

I understand the concept of corporate standards and "herding the chickens" and all, but rather than try to gag another person, why not say something like "that's not something my manager will allow me to spend time on, but you're more than welcome to install it yourself.

Welcome to corporate America.

best line from the sopranos finale

Meadow: "{I became a lawyer because] the state crushes the individual."
Tony: "New Jersey?"

Kathy Griffin season 3

So the world depresses me. Especially lately. The constant loss of life of our troops and the insipid pop culture that passes for news. And then there's someone who reminds us just how superficial and one-dimensional the world really is and laugh at it. Thank you Cathy Griffin for making me laugh and, what's more, laugh at myself. I can't tell you how good it feels. You are my Goddess.

cured

They wish to cure us, but I say we are the cure.
-Magneto in X-Men 3

my new lover

Ruby, you are so sexy.

booty cake

Today's my roommate, Edward's birthday. On the way to work I called and ordered a chocolate chip cookie (his favorite) from publix with balloons on it and a nice "happy birthday" message written in green and white icing. I pick it up on the way home, and when I walk in the door, nobody's home. But there's a strong smell of sugar throughout the house. I put the cookie on the dining room table and went into the kitchen and there was this clearly hand-made cake with candles and everything. I thought, oh, nice, his mother stopped by and made him a cake. He's prolly out to dinner with her.

Several hours later he gets home and I'm like... can I have some cake.... did your mom make it? He blushes.

"A trick made it."

I'm like ... what?

Apparently a trick from 3 years ago brought him the cake hoping to get/give a little sumptin' sumptin' this morning after I had left for work. "He called earlier this week and we talked and I let it slip today way my b-day."

..."so you had a good morning?"

"er... no. Nice guy, but he's like a clingy little puppy. For some reason he keeps calling, but I'm trying to be polite."

"So you let the puppy hump your leg then put him outside when he piddles on the floor.... you don't turn him away when he brings you baked goods."

Slicing the cake and eating a piece... i'm like... "Poor guy... gives you a cake and you don't even put out. And it's pretty good cake too..." I sigh... "Desperation is yummy."

My roommate was having none of it and was embarrassed it was in the house.

I wish he would have put out.... Then maybe next year, we'd get ice cream too. I do love cake and ice cream.

creator/destroyer

Gimme that old time religion
That old time religion
Gimme that old time religion; it's good enough for me

It was good for my grandma
It was good for my grandpa
It was good for my mom and it's good enough for me

The Hindu god Shiva is known as the creator/destroyer. He is the Hindu version of the Egyptian Pheonix. He destroys and creates from that which is destroyed. Christianity has the story of Noah and the arc... how God destroyed the world with a flood and then brought species back from extinction from two of every unclean and 7 of every clean animal stored in Noah's arc... I believe Cathy Lee Gifford was headlining that particular cruise with a show of Broadway favorites which may have acutally BROUGHT ABOUT the apocalypse. I could be mistaken.

Shiva smears the ashes of his destruction over his body and from his phallus springs the seed of a new creation. Noah's arc, beached on the side of Mt. Ararat opens the doors to a world to start over. The Phoenix rises from the ashes to fly the skies and bring healing to the earth.

I'm tired of destruction. I'm weary of our soldiers being killed; I'm over hearing every day how hundreds of people are killed in a market somewhere in western Asia. Though some people would lay this problem at the feat of our President, I do not. I don't believe he initiated destruction. Only that he created a crucible for the forces behind the conflict to engage. I lay this conflict at the feet of a confrontation that has continued throughout history. The conflict between that which is new and that which is old.

As I write, secular forces of the Lebonese security force battle with Al Queda/Hezbollah forces for the soul of Lebanon. Christian fascists, yes I said it, fascists in this country believe that they and only they are the arbiters of the Christian religion and will this week picket the Funeral of another of their faith because he wasn't "Christian Enough."

When will this blood war in Iraq be over? How many people have to die in Lebanon before they can conduct their goverment without interference from fascist militant Muslims? When will the destruction of what currently constitutes the Christian church be complete so that the rest of us can go back to focusing on worshiping God? I hear the song "That Old Time Religion" and I wonder how many people are slaves to their religion and miss out on a relationship with God...??? I wonder how many more horrible movies will Lindsay Lohan be in before she's banished to Celebrity Fit Club 12?

When I look around me, It's difficult to believe that a Phoenix will rise from this destruction. It's hard to believe that the God who destroys will create again, be he christian, muslim or hindu. It's easier to believe, with Tony Kushner, that God has somehow left us to deal with an imperfect creation on our own and that everything is somehow "cycling down" into oblivion.

But I do believe in a God who is actively creating the future of this universe. I believe in beauty and new creation in this world. It is an act of faith, but I do believe.

Apple and Sun need each other....

I've read several articles of late that talk about how cozy the relationship is between Sun Microsystems and Apple. Considering the fact that apple's making money hand over fist, it would be a natural assumption that apple is in the market to BUY Sun. There are a a lot of reasons why this makes sense.

First, Solaris. Apple and Sun's OS are like Quarter pounder and Big Mac... Very similar and with common ancestry, that being Berkley BSD Unix. They could easily ( I say easily because I don't have to do it :-) ) be "merged" into a single product hosting Sun's Server software and recristened the new Mac OS X Server. I would double Mac OS X's share of the server market overnight... maybe triple. I work for a company with Sun web servers and I gotta tell you... all of the utilities in the Solaris OS are several releases behind linux and OS X. It would be the best thing to happen to solaris since the x86 recompile.

Second, Java. Apple loves java. Java loves Apple. Two-ish years ago, Apple integrated java into xCode and you can create pure java right in apple's development environment. Java can access all the cocoa methods that you have at your disposal with Objective C. The apple core programming team has taken great pains to make the experience of java on the mac first rate, and in my estimation, succeeded.

Third, Sun is dying. Yea, I said it. This star has flared and is now a red dwarf. There are just too many competing technologies. Their flagship product, Solaris, is getting very long in the tooth. Java never caught on like they hoped it would and javaFX ain't gonna get you there. Every effort they make seems mired in a tangle of programmer's jargon standing opposed to the clean consistant message of a resurgant apple. In marketing speak, there's no consistant message. They're a company that markets producuts aimed at professionals and most professionals think of them as the "java guys who also make REALLY expensive servers." They need Apple's gravitas. They need apple's marketing saavy. They need apple's sales base. They need Steve's reality distorion field encompasing their product line. And apple needs partners in their war against The Dark Lord.

Steve, if you're listening, which most likely you are not, Go have a chai latte and a vegan cranberry scone at Barnes and Noble with Scott McNealey and work this out. You'll get some really kewl professional products and Apple will become a playa in the pro web development market and nothing would make me giddier... like a school girl on christmas morning.

There but for the grace of God.....

My heart and praryers go out to the people of Greensburg, KS. Photo Credit: Jaime Oppenheimer/The Wichita Eagle

Vagina Power

Falwell Challenges God on Gay Marriage Issue

Simply Hysterical. You must read. Happy Easter.....

great cover of one of my 80's fav's

So how long before we hear this at georgies?...

words fail me... she's brilliant

Nadine Smith on the Stanton Firing

Hate and Irony in Polk County

The body of the 25-year-old Winter Haven man was found on a rural road in Wahneta early Wednesday morning, said Polk County Sheriff's spokeswoman Donna Wood. He had been stabbed about 20 times, she said.
A witness came forward and said Skipper was killed because he made an advance toward Brown, Wood said.
Authorities are treating the killing as a hate crime, according to a sheriff's office statement.
Skipper was driving around Wahneta on Tuesday and offered Bearden a ride around midnight, the statement said. The two went back to Skipper's house, where they smoked marijuana and discussed using Skipper's computer to copy checks, the report said.
The two left Skipper's house and went to another home where they met Brown and they all left in Skipper's car, officials said. Once at the remote location, Brown and Bearden allegedly attacked Skipper in his own vehicle, stabbing him and leaving him along the roadside, Wood said.
The suspects allegedly attempted to clean the bloody vehicle and later drove Skipper's car around and bragged to friends, Wood said.
Skipper's car was later found abandoned on a dock near Lake Pansy in Winter Haven

from the St. Petersburg Times Story Is it just me or is this story simultaneously sad and ironic? You commit a hate crime and then leave the car by Lake Pansy?

300

Just saw 300 at the IMAX theatre at Channelside. i recommend that you see this movie in IMAX. Great visuals. Good story. I find it fascinating that Iranians are outraged by it as they believe it was produced by the government as a justification for going to war with Iran.

My esteemed Islamic colleagues in Iran, First let me make 2 points. The current situation in Iraq makes it clear that this government needs no reason, justification or public support to go to war with any country. Second, this movie, in the states is targeted at 15 year old boys who, unfortunately, do not associate the word "persian" with Iran ( the word "IRAN" doesn't appear in the movie) and, in point of fact, most people under the age of 30 in this country do not watch the news and unless they have a friend from that area of the world, most believe that you're arabs. Believe me, if we go to war with Iran, it won't be because of a movie.

Tim Gill is doing the Lord's work

long week

it's been a long week and I really have nothing to say or report. Steve Stanton is still fired and Rhonda Storms and the Largo Commission Cunts still have jobs. We still can't adopt or marry. Both Battlestar Galactica and Lost continue to suck wind. And I'm going to lose an hour of sleep tonight because of the Daylight Savings change.

I have to admit to bit of world-weariness.

I'm headed to my mom's wedding this weekend. It will be an awkward affair and I can't wait for it to be over. I can't wait for wedding season to be over. I love my mom and wish her well, but I'm so freekin over weddings.

Encouraging Survey

In the wake of the firing of Largo City Manager Steve Stanton, A Survey by the St. Petersburg Times shows encouraging changing attitudes toward GLBTQ Minorities. Now if we can just impress on the five members of the Largo County Commission the injustice they dealt the City Manager Stanton when they began proceedings to fire him tuesday night. Politicans have to realize that their bigotry has a ripple effect across the community.

ignorance rules in Largo

Peggy Schaefer was one of about 60 members of the First Baptist Church of Indian Rocks who turned out for the meeting.
“I don’t want that man in office,” she said. “I don’t think we should be paying him $150,000 a year when he’s not been truthful. We have to speak up. Of course, we don’t believe in sex changes or lesbianism. They have their rights, but we do, too.”

... from the sptimes article

Mr.s Schaefer, is one of those rights a right to bigotry?

rumble in largo

[photo: James Garnett Jr]

So i'm watching Gilmore Girls and I open the laptop and on the front page of the St. Pete times, there's Nadine Smith getting arrested in Largo.

So I flip over to bay news 9 and I find that this poor Transsexual man that's a city manager for Largo is being lynched before the Largo City council. And as i'm watching, a new face has appeared on the horizon of Pinellas county... Largo's Mayor Pat Gerard. She defended the city manager with common sense and intelligence.

Mayor Gerard and City Manager Stanton, you are my heroes. Support Equality Florida. Nadine, if I was a Lesbian, we'd be picking out china at Dillards. I love ya.

update: 9:40: FORMER city manager stanton. They just fired him. Commissioner Black and Vice Mayor Whatever your name is, you are evil personified.

weekend in the keys

My friends dan & natalie are getting married in Key West. They told us this and we got the invitation like a year ago. They lived together for 3+ years, bought a house and were talking about having a baby and the parents staged a marital intervention and said, we're going to have a wedding for you and you need to be there. So the wedding becomes this HUGE event with 9 bridesmaids, 500+ guests in Our Lady of the Seas in Key West. All our friends are going to be there...blah, blah, blah... ok, fine. I'll book a weekend in Key West for your wedding.

So in august, my roommate Edward starts bugging me about reserving the room. We finallly decide on this B&B called L'Habitation on Eaton street near Duval. We decide we don't want to drive so we book tickets on the Key West Ferry Friday before the wedding on sat. We plan to leave work and drive to Ft. Myers Beach, then roll out of bed the next morning and get on the boat.

I've never been to Key West before... lived in florida most of my life; never been there.



Thusday night, we drop the dogs with the Brandon Bears ... there's these two bear friends/coworkers of mine in brandon who have graciously agreed to watch our two doggies... God, do I owe them big!!!... and then we head down 75 with my friend Paul in tow.

We stay at this place called "The Lighthouse Resort" on Ft. Myers beach and I literally never see the staff. I reserved online. I call on the way down and explain it's going to be after midnight when we get there. She tells me it's room X, the room's unlocked and the key will be on the table. We get up in the morning and leave, there's nobody in the office so I call. Lady picks up and says, just leave the key on the table, I've got your credit card, i'll just charge the room to it. So I did the whole thing over the internet and never saw the staff... great new world we live in, hun?

So we get on the boat and it's a new boat, everything nice... p.s. It's the ONLY way to get to key west. Driving for me is no longer an option. The traffic is just too horrible to be believed. Three hours tour goes like this: Bloody Mary, Up to third floor observation, get too cold, back downstairs to the bar for another bloody mary, snack bar for some munchies, back observation deck, sit and watch satellite TV for a bit, Bloody Mary... well, you get the point. Little boring, but a great RELAXING ride as opposed to a 10 hour car drive in start/stop traffic... FABU... I highly recommend.



We dock, walk a few blocks to our B&B and by then, we're hungry again, so we have late lunch at the Grande Cafe which is right around the corner from our B&B. Great food and even greater Mojitos.

The B&B has this WIDE martha stewart-esque front porch in the style of the key west victorian with wicker furniture and as I walk up the steps...I feel it... this is home. This is the style house I want to live in. Whether it's key west or St. Pete, where ever, this is MY style. This is what I like. The weather is a perfect 72 degrees. The island breeze is blowing through the palms. It is a zen moment.



We walk to front street on duval, shop, eat, shop, walk, walk, shop. By 5PM we're exhausted. We go back to the B&B and all three of us CRASH. We have a wedding event at 9PM back at the grande cafe.

Duval Street is MOBBED. It's like New Orleans at Marti Gras, except without that "you could get stabbed at any moment" thing.



The wedding thing is nice, if crowded. Dan and Nat are totally a class act and all the events leading up to and including this have been done first-rate. Andreus does his best interpretation of an uncut penis. Brian passes out on one of the benches. Andraes wife Beka is very amused. The bride and groom look fabulous. Everyone is witty and urbane. Natalie, the bride, tells us that she's 3 months pregnant. I'm like, your kid gonna be a six month baby.... ahhhhhhhh..... she's like... i'm hormonal.... I will CUT you. I back off. Mental note: Binge eating partner for the next six months. Check.



It's midnight-ish when we get done with the str8 people so we hit the gay clubs on the south end of duval and it was just OK... nuthin special. I prefer Georgies, but when in Rome...

So the next morning I'm trolling for Breakfast because the B&B just has a continental breakfast and that's just not going to cut it. I find this FANTASTIC creparie at 512 duval. The smell coming out of the windows is wonderful. IF YOU EVER GO TO KEY WEST, YOU SIMPLY MUST HAVE SOME OF THESE CREPES. She makes them fresh with fresh fruit and they melt in your mouth. Anywho... Edward and paul aren't up yet, so I thought I'd just get this blog entry done then hit the shoppes we missed yesterday before the wedding at 3. More soon.

a convenient truth

when is the world going to wake up and understand the genius that is Sara Silverman?