Penelope Cruz is This Year's Marissa Tomai

So the oscar nominations are out and once again, we've been Mira Sorvino'd and her name is Penelope Cruz. It's not bad enough we have to be constantly bombarded with tabloid stories of the latest himbo she's dating to promote some useless film she's in... Tom Cruise/Vanilla Sky, Matthew McConaughey/Sahara... but the fact that she's been a working actress in the US for almost 10 years and her accent is still so thick I have yet to understand a single sentence she utters. All I have to say is thank God for Helen Mirren's performance in Queen because it's going to save us from a fate worse than "Oscar Nominated Penelope Cruz" and that's (shudder) "Oscar Winner, Penelope Cruz". Helen, it's all you baby and I couldn't be happier.